I just ran across these:
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!
Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
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